Weekend Update

I shouldn't be writing. I should be going to bed. I have to go back to work tomorrow which means a 6am wake up. I've been getting up at 10 or 11 lately.

And in my emotional state, I shouldn't be writing. I'll need to keep reminding myself to keep my deals out of this.

So, the back. Yesterday seemed to be pretty good. I seemed to have a good balance of being resting and active. I was also social. Went out and saw people on three different occasions. Most people I've seen all holiday. But there was a good balance of sitting and resting the back and getting up and moving around.

Except the last one, at the bookstore. That might have over done it. Back started to go and I found myself having to lean on things, or sit down a lot. It was getting kind of annoying, trying to find a place.

Today wasn't too bad, except for the end of the second service today. I guess with a lot of singing comes a lot of back responsibilities to the point where it said "and we're done". Even a bow made my back hurt so it was more of a nod.

Then there was the choir Christmas potluck. I didn't bring my magic bag because it doesn't work with the way the chairs are in the back. And now, by the end of it, I'm done.

I'm done with several things anyway. That image of the guy throwing his papers in the air with a "fuck it all" look is pretty much me right now. And if I'm in an anger state, at least it's better than a depressed state. I can  be productive in this state. Kill lots of things on video games.

Anyways, in regards to the back, I feel like I'm done. At least for tonight. I'm ready for someone to give me a magical pill to make my back stop hurting and I can go back to a normal life.

I need the positive of today. I did a solo. It is one of the scariest solos in our repertoire. We process to the back, we're in the dark except for the candles in our hands. You get three notes, and then it's the solo. It's a cappella (meaning just voice, no music accompanying) and the rest of the piece depends on how well you do this solo. You go badly flat or sharp, and it's going to be off. I'm still not 100% sure exactly what happened. When the organ came in, it wasn't quite right. But I did it. And I'm told I did it well. Some even said it was the best they've heard me sing. So I must have done something right. And that's my positive of the day. I did that solo.

And that's it for now.