Last Two Days

No, I didn't forget about you, blog. Yesterday was Wednesday, which meant choir, which meant not really home. However, I should have written down things that happened yesterday because now I can't really remember, except there was pain. I had run out of painkillers and due to weather related issues, I couldn't pick up my refills until today. So, yeah, more pain than I would have liked to have dealt with.

Today was day two of no pills (but I took my evening one so hopefully the pain will lessen soon) and the pain was not letting up. Going out shopping didn't help. I got a glimpse of myself in the Walmart bathroom before leaving, all hunched over like a little old lady. I wish I could have taken a picture but there were other people in there and they'd probably think I was just taking a bathroom selfie.

Having back spasms at Walmart wasn't fun. I'd just have to stop in the middle of the aisle and just let it do what it was going to do. One felt like this pulsating, tingles radiating from the center of my back. It was not fun at all.

I'm currently sitting in my chair with the magic bag on my back and I can feel the muscles relax a bit, which is good. They definitely give a sort of pleasurable pain...or painful pleasure. Either way it's written, it's feeling better.

I NEED therapy. If the last two days have proven anything, it's that I'm not getting better and my painkillers are only dulling the pain enough so that I can function in daily life. Getting off the bus yesterday, I would have given anything for a massage. But the lawyers have gotten no further with the insurance people and now that it's the week before Christmas, so I probably won't hear from them until the new year.

In the meantime, I just have to keep going through, day to day, hoping I don't fall down on the ice, trying not to hurt anymore than I am and just trying to make it through.

Wish me luck.

EDIT: I forgot my positive today. Got more shopping done (but not all of it), got my Christmas tree (but it's not up). We had hash for lunch at work! That was positive because it was so good. If you don't know, hash is the leftover veggies from a cooked dinner (usually turkey) fried up with some turkey, too. It was yummy!