Misadventures in Shopping

Today's workday was pretty good. No major problems and I didn't even really need to lie down while kids were napping. Awesome.

That ended.

After work, I had to go to the bank (by which I mean the bank machine at the grocery store. It's the closest to my apartment). After that, my plan was to go to the mall. In normal circumstances, walking to the mall would take about 20 minutes from that location. Nope. I had to wait 10 minutes for a 15 minute bus ride. There was a few steps next to the stop, but I couldn't even sit down because it had started to rain a bit. Not cool.

So I go to the mall and I'm fine for a bit because I sit to eat some food before heading off to do some shopping. It wasn't too bad, really, but there was a slow deterioration. I was walking slower, I had to sit a few times, I had to carry my bag in my arms, cradle it, really, instead of slinging it over my shoulder. It was getting way too much and I hadn't even done everything I wanted to do. As luck would have it, my roommate was coming to the mall after work and he gladly took some of my purchases in his bag for me as I continued on my journeys.

They didn't last long.

I was heading up to Value Village (or as we call it at work, Val-ooo, Vill-ah-ge. Gives it a more prestige sounding name). Didn't make it. I walked towards Chapters, a trip that should have taken about 5 minutes. It took me about 10. Value Village is about 5 minutes past that, depending on if you have to wait to cross the street or not. And I just couldn't do it. The roommate came and met me at Chapters and we took a cab home.

This isn't me. As I said before, I feel like I'm losing part of myself because I can't go out and do what I want to do. I should have been able to go to the bank, walk to the mall, head over to Value Village and maybe stop at Chapters on the way back for a drink from the Starbucks inside, and then walk home again. But I can't.

Maybe I should just accept that this is my life now.  At least until I'm approved for therapy. Waiting for the lawyers to figure out insurance stuff. And actually, I haven't heard from them at all since I emailed them on Tuesday. That kinda sucks. But yeah, until I'm better, this is what my life is going to be. Me, doing as little as I can, living through the pain and feeling depressed over the fact that I can't do what I had planned on doing.

I can't even really put into words exactly what I feel right now. I feel like I'm losing part of myself. That pretty much explains the whole thing. And it sucks. All because some guy didn't see a bus.