Waits and Sees

I had to look back at my last post to see what I posted last. Oops.

Last week, I spent most of my free time lying in bed. I wasn't the happiest about that but I did manage to catch up on some tv.

I got to see my doctor on Thursday and he gave me another prescription for my painkillers. However, these ones...well...they're definitely more powerful than the last ones. Those were 375mg, these are 550mg. So when I take one, I don't have much pain for about 10-12 hours. But once they wear off, I'm hurting again. Which sucks.

I also got some bad news. It seems that my acupuncture is no longer covered. Or rather, I used up all the money I had an advance for. Myself and the acupuncturist have been in contact with the lawyer people and insisting that I need more treatments, especially considering my recent flare ups. No word yet. The acupuncturist and my doctor also recommended seeing a chiropractor or physio therapist on top of it. So we'll see how that goes.

If I can't get an advance, I'd have to take a loan (with a 20% interest rate) and I may not be able to claim it because I've already had an advance and I need to prove that it was only for therapy and really, it just seems complicated. So I'm not really sure what's going to happen if I can't afford my treatments anymore.

And I noticed that my back hurt more today after work a lot more compared to the weekend. But that might just be because I was a lot more active today than over the long weekend. Something else to monitor.

Well, that's all for now. Let's see what happens when I get words back from all.

Sunday Spasms

So, I'm writing this from my phone. Hopefully the post will be formatted properly and all that. It will take longer to write though, so here we go.

Today...well...it was worse. It started off OK. Some pain but nothing that an anaprox didn't take care of. My high notes were there during choir, though I did feel them a little weak. I wasn't expecting perfection with that anyways. But after...then we had some problems.

The spasms started again and I didn't like that at all. It's like this sudden sharp pain on the left side of my lower back and it radiates out and pulses and squeezes the muscles around it. It doesn't last long, just a few seconds, but it hurts. And my body moves too, depending on what position I'm sitting right now. I might curl up or straighten up or sit back or lurch forward.

After Mothers Day lunch with my family, I came home and laid down for a bit and put some Rub A535 on my back. That helped enough to survive the rehearsal before the service. But by the service end, I was in no shape. My high notes were pretty much 50/50. Either I had them or I didn't. I couldn't do proper singing breathing either. I didn't have great control. I had to sit down for the last part of the service.

At least there was a cushion on the pew. And luckily that cushion lined up with where i was feeling the pain. So when the spasm came, it was kind of contained and didn't hurt as much. Of course, the pain decided to take revenge by crawling up my spine, ever so slowly.

It sucks. It all sucks. I'm hoping to get a doctors appointment this week, if nothing else, to get a new prescription for the pain killers.

Again, I'm contemplating if my career choice is a back hazard. I'll see how it goes tomorrow and if it feels any better or worse.

For now, I'm back to spending the night in bed. I have acupuncture Tuesday, so hopefully that'll help again too.

It is just so frustrating to have to go through this again when I was doing so well. And now I'm having troubles with my singing, my walking, my free time (rather be in Azeroth than in bed!), my self confidence and my emotions.

I just want my back to be all better.

I'm Back

Hey everyone! Guess you thought I forgot about this, considering my last entry was in February. It's not that I didn't forget, I just didn't have much to update. I guess that in itself would have been an update, but that's besides the point.

So what's happened the last few months? Not much. I got a new job. It's closer to home and I'm paid more, so that's a bonus. I also don't have to take a bus to work anymore, so definitely a plus there, considering my luck with buses.

As for my back, things were going pretty good. I have been seeing my acupuncturist about once a week and while she was away on vacation for a week, I noticed that the pain would start to come back after about a week and a half. So, we tried me going every week and a half or about 10 days or so. Things seemed fine. Though there was some change. The pain originally was in my lower back. While there is still some there, it has greatly decreased. However, the pain increased in my upper back and shoulders. This is common because one part of the back is trying to do the work the other part did and...well....after a while it starts to hurt. And that's what's happening to my back.

But overall, it's doing alright. Or rather...WAS doing alright. I'm not sure what's happening now. I had a treatment last Friday and I didn't feel the best coming out. That happens sometimes so I didn't think anything of it. But it didn't go away. In fact, the pain got worse. Tuesday, I had to get a cab home from work. Wednesday, I didn't have my high notes because I couldn't get in the right position to do it. It was then that I knew that I had to see the acupuncturist as soon as possible. My next appointment wasn't until Tuesday. Luckily, she was able to see me yesterday evening.

And it felt great coming out. There was little pain and all was good.

And it was pretty good this morning. But, as the day wore on, I'm in pain again. I really don't know why I'm flaring up like I am. I wish I knew, but I don't. And it seems like my body wants to fall apart some because my acid reflux has been coming back a bit too.

There is a part of me that is wondering if my job is detrimental to my back. Standing, playing, working with kids, I'm wondering if it really is causing problems. If that's the case, what am I supposed to do? Most good paying jobs require some amount of training/education in that field. I don't have much other training/education in anything besides teaching. So I could go back to school to do something where I can sit more. But I can't afford that, so that's probably not good. Going to a lower paying job isn't looking like a good option either. So I guess I have to settle for what I'm doing now and just take it easy some.

I'll try to keep this updated a bit, but I can't really promise much. It's not uncommon for me to start a blog, update it and then forget about it.

Micro Update

It seems that my blog now gets updated once a week. I guess that's just the life of blogging. No real updates. Haven't heard from the insurance adjuster so I don't know when or if I'll have acupuncture again. On Friday, when I was suppose to have an appointment, I could start to feel myself need it. Not so bad now since I've had some time to rest the weekend.

I'm hoping that I can get more sessions soon because I need it. At the end of the day I'm still a little sore. I still get some twitches and tingles and pangs. I still get a spasm now and again. Some kids at work I still have trouble lifting. So, yeah, I'm not 100% yet. Need my sessions.

I guess that's it really. Not much to update when nothing is happening. So just thought I'd let you know all that.

I have been able to do more walking, so that's good, especially since I'm trying to lose those few pounds I've regained. Watching calories too, since, that will help in the long run. My walking is still slower than it was but at least I'm trying. That's the main thing, right?

Forwards and Backwards

It's been a little quite over here and I'm sorry. Part of it is that I didn't have time to update. Also not sure what to write. It's all pretty much the same. I do good in the morning and my back deteriorates as the day goes on. Today hasn't been great though. Maybe however I slept or the cold temperatures. It happens sometime.

A good thing is that the pain is decreasing. It's still there, but it's not as bad as it used to be. And the area of the pain is decreasing. Before, it was all over my lower back. Now it's more concentrated in one area in the middle. So something is working. The bad news is that my neck has been feeling more pain. Apparently that happens, that the whiplash can take a while to come. That, and since I've been so concentrated on working on the back that I didn't pay much attention to the shoulders and neck. So next is working on that.

Good news is that the acupuncture seems to be working. Bad news is that I'm all out of the sessions that the insurance company will pay for. My acupuncturist said I need more. I'm at the point where I can't just leave since it could very well risk a set back. Both myself and the acupuncturist have been in contact with the lawyers, so now it's just a matter of getting them to pay for it. They have to pay for it, but they don't need to pay it now. I'd rather much them pay it now because I can't afford to pay it out of pocket to have it reimbursed. My next appointment isn't until later this week so that we give them more time to get the money thing sorted out.

So hopefully, all that can be sorted out soon so I can get the help I still need.

I'm simultaneously, at the moment of typing, talking in a thread on facebook in a group I'm in. Talking about keeping a good weight for cosplay for less alterations and all. I'm mentioning how I want to lose a bit more weight but with the back, it's hard to do much exercise, as I've mentioned before. I can handle some more walks now, but not while carrying a lot, like groceries. When I go to acupuncture, I usually have a 10-15 minute walk and I can't do much more than that. But at least I can do that so, again, that's some improvement. I can walk to the supermarket and I can sometimes walk back if I don't have a lot. And by not a lot, I mean 4 or 5 small items. Other than that, it's a cab, a ride or someone is carrying them for me.

As you can see, there is some progress, there is some step backs. I guess I expected that. It's the same with anything really. Just gotta make sure you're taking two steps forward for every step back, and not the opposite. That's a pretty positive message to leave on, so I think I will.

Life Progress

It's been a while since I've updated. I've just been going through some stuff.

In terms of my treatments, they do seem to be helping. The area that is sore has been decreasing. The intensity of the pain is decreasing. The frequency of pain is decreasing. All of this is good things. However, I'm running out of the money allotted from the insurance company so that I can have my therapy. I have emailed the lawyers about it, and my acupuncturist will as well, to let them know that the treatments are working, I just need more. So hopefully, they'll give me more.

I'm still working on two treatments a week, but hopefully I'll be down to one treatment a week very soon. There's going to be some exercises too to keep up during the times when I won't have treatments. So that's been going well.

At work, we've been a little short staffed the last little bit, but that happens. So, I've been having to do more things. I think that's why my back pain has been pretty steady the last few weeks. But I do take it easy when I can, like sitting against the wall when sitting down with the kids. I'm surviving and that's the main thing.

Speaking of surviving, the positive of the weekend came after a long and tiring 24 hours. Long story short, I ended up doing something I should have done a long time ago. I tied up some loose ends and cut some ties with my personal life. Once it was done, I felt better, like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I don't think I would have been able to do it on my own, so thanks to the bestest friend for listening to me, guiding me, giving me a shoulder to cry on, and just giving me the final push so I could do what needed to be done.

And if this stress is no longer with me, then that's only going to be good for my back recovery, since that's one less thing taking my focus from that. Anything that takes stress away is definitely a positive in my book in every way.

Other positive included The Lego Movie, which is omg such an awesome movie! Trying to convince others to go so I can see it again.

That and chocolate milk. I have chocolate milk in my house and that is always a good thing.

Stubbornness Pain

The back has been pretty bad the last few days, even with the acupuncture. At work, we're short staffed, so I'm finding myself doing more things than I should, like lifting more kids and for longer. But I have to do it because, in some cases, I'm the only one who can. So it hurts.

Acupuncture hurt some on Thursday too. But to be fair, it wasn't the right location so it was harder to relax and thus I felt the needles. Plus, because of my almost finished head cold, I was sniffling, so I'd move slightly more each time I sniffed and really...you shouldn't move during acupuncture. Overall, Thursday's session was more uncomfortable than I'd like.

I've also been stubborn and did some walking. Today, even though I cabbed from the supermarket with my $30 worth of groceries, I walked to the mall, then to the comic book store across the way and the fast food place next to it, and then back. I might have been gone an hour. My back was killing afterwards.

I knew it was going to hurt but I did it anyways. I'm stubborn and I'm going to do what I want to do. That includes doing somethings that help me gain some amount of independence. I love my independence. Not so much that I'm going out to get a car because driving is a scary thing and I can't handle that pressure of being in control of all that metal. But I used to be able to walk anywhere, or time things to coincide with the bus schedule. Now I can't do the walking so much, so that's independence gone. Doing what walking I can is getting some back. Even if there's pain and I gotta lie down for like an hour after. That hour is well spent though because I can watch something I have DVRed or Battlestar Galatica.

No pain, no gain, right?

So the gain was some independence gained and that's one of the positive. Another positive of today is that, well, it's Friday, which is always good. Also, while at the comic book store, I got a new addition to my Pop Vinyl collection. I picked up Captain James Tiberius Kirk. Makes me happy to have that.

I guess that's it for now. Still in pain, but it isn't as bad as it has been, so I guess that's good. But still pain nonetheless.